In octobre 2012 I have been to the farm in South-Africa for a month. I went there together with Sylvie Jacobs, another Dutch participant from Desteni.
On the farm in South-Africa, there live about 15 people who are investigating and working on a solution for the total inequality that exists on earth, which starts by and goes hand in hand with the process of changing of self within this. Because, we are the world, and if we are not able to change ourselves, then how will we be able to make a change in and as the world as it exist now.
The people on the farm live together with a lot of animals. Horses, dogs, cats, ducks, chicken, geese, and of course all the small and large ‘wild’ animals and insects that live on the land they share. The people live in different formations, as single person and some married couples. They live in 3 houses which are standing near to each other with a piece of land around the house. In every house there are living animals: in all 3 houses there live dogs, in two of the three houses there also live cats and in the one house without cats, there live parrots. Animals and human are living together, they share the space and enjoy the company of each other.
Everyone live and work together from the principle of finding solutions to clean the mess that we have allowed and created on earth, and change ourselves and the worldsystem to make this eventual happen. (The process of how this is done, is readable in the large amount of blogs that every participant is writing on a daily or regular basis.).
What I noticed here, is that the living together is very stable. What do I mean by that? The people who live together are not projecting their own reactions as emotions and feelings, towards each other. So, everyone is bringing their own mind-movements, as thoughts, emotions, feelings, internal conversations, back to self, and not speaking them out towards another. When we bring everything back to self, we give ourselves the ability to sort out what is going on in our mind (within the process of writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application) and we don’t need to speak this out towards another outside ourselves. This makes the living together stable, because there are no – or little, as everyone is in a process of self-correction – projections towards each other. No blaming outside self, no critisism towards each other, and if there is, it is something to consider and bringing back to self for investigation, as an inequality in self is triggered. If there is an unstablity noted, there is direct support to sort this out, inside self and in cooperation with each other, to walk through this point that comes up, to find a new stable platform inside self.
The people on the farm work constant and continuesly, varied by physical work as working on the land and taking care of the house and animals, and work of support and process, which is mostly done on the computer. The tempo of the working is constant, physical: the work needs to be done, but there is no need to rush and run and hurry and stress about it. The work is combined with pleasure and making fun, and in between there is some time to relax, to watch a movie, to listen some music, to play with the animals. It is not as ‘taking a day off’, it is more relaxing in between and during the work that needs to be done; being comfortable in doing the daily tasks.
Sunette, a young woman who lives at the farm, leaves her body almost every day to give access to a dimensial being who gives an interview. With a dimensial being I mean a being that does not live in a physical body at the moment. This dimensial being can enter the body of Sunette when she leaves her body, and so speak through her body to give an interview. This is called ‘The Portal’. The portal is giving all the infomation that was always hidden in ‘heaven’, because no human before in the entire history, was able to remember what happened after death and bringing this back to earth while living on earth; neither was a human before in history able to completely leave the body while living on earth, unconditionally, without interference of the mind, and within this, able to give complete physical information from and as the being that enters the body. (Remember, channeling is a total different story, where the information that one had/has access to, was/is always contained by the mind, and so manipulated and influenced by the preprogramming of the mind consciousness system. Channeling was used to control the human beings in and as the mind. The information that was given through channeling was deliberately incomplete, and incomplete is never best for all; it leaves ‘parts out’, so it is selective which is not equal and one).
So, I have listened daily to interviews from the portal, which is Sunette, leaving her body and giving acces to dimensional beings, who share their story of realization after death, as a support for living on earth as what is best for all. In the dimensions they stand for what is best for all; they give and stand as full support, so it is up to us, humans on earth, to change ourselves in our physical bodies and the system here on earth, into a living that is best for all, here in physical reality, here on earth. The information given in the interviews is very detailed and very specific. It is given in series where each interview follows up the interview before, but they are also able to be listened on itself as each intervied contains a specific subject. I found it very supportive to listen to them daily, to see and being a physical witness of the coherence between heaven and earth, visible in the portal. The information gave me a lot of realizations, as the subjects are tuned on the people that are physical present at the interviews. In general it trained me to listen with ease to English interviews, as we were often listening to 3 interviews after each other in about 2 hours, with only a short break in between, from which I still benefit while listening an interview from eqafe at home on my mp3.
I have watched her, I have asked questions, I have heard voice changes from different beings inside her body, I have seen a small change in the look in the eyes, and always the body of Sunette was stable, here, present, in front of me and some others, able to do every physical movement that we are able to. The leaving of her body and giving access to a dimensional being, and coming back in her body, was done in a breath, One Single Breath.
The interviews that take place almost daily, are always done with more than one being around, and all the interviews are available in the eqafe-store, as a support for every one who wants to support self and life on earth to find solutions and make it livable here. It is information that has never been shared – probably some small parts of it, but never the whole story of existence, in heaven and on earth – and if you are able to stop your scepticism and really listen from an open perspective, you will find out yourself, slowly but surely, how it really works and have worked for an uncountable amount of time. Remember, scepticism is part of the brainwashing, where you exist in fear and control, and this is keeping you away from real investigation, inside yourself and in the world.
So, nothing is hidden, everything is available, everybody is standing by their own name, and everybody is writing and within this, everybody is a witness of what a human being is capable of. As an individual but always in cooperation with the group, as nobody can do it alone. And this is also a very important realization: I cannot do it alone, I cannot stay on my island in my own mind, hiding from the rest, as nobody alone can make a real change in existance.
I have seen Sunette as someone who is gentle and always ready to give support, to give an answer to every question that is asked. She lives together with every one else, like every one else, doing the same work, playing with the dogs, eating food, having some rest in the night, working on the internet for hours, etc. She is a human being who dedicated her life to make life on earth a dignified life for every living being.
Bernard asked me once I was sitting there, okay, what is the difference between you and her (Sunette), and I was giving answers as ‘she is here’ and ‘she is in breath’ and things like that, but actually I had not a clear answer as no words for what I noticed as this difference, accept that I saw that I was distracted by everything inside myself and around me and she was not, she was sitting behind her computer, working, stable. Bernard said after every answer I gave, “be more concrete, name it; you don’t know what ‘being here’ and ‘being in breath’ ” means. Well, in the end he gave the answer and that is, that she had made the decision, the decision that she is able to change herself, that she will change herself, and she is living this decision daily.
After being at the farm I understood, it is all about making the decision. If I do not make the decision, I will be distracted and directed by the mind, by thoughts, by emotions, by feelings, by every opinion inside myself and around me. This is what separates me, what makes me doubt myself. And in every point that I have to walk through I notice that only if I make the decision to do so, I have walked through, and I will walk through. As long as I am not making the decision, I am distracted by the mind and let myself distract by the mind, and I allow it, and I accept it. Which means, I have to investigate what is going on in the mind, what I hold on to, as I still believe the story that I made up in the mind, the emotions and feelings connected towards and within this. Until I am clear, until I have forgiven myself and my own self-interest related to the point and the story, I will be distracted by my own experiences in an das the mind. And when I am clear, I am able to make the decision, and I can walk through and stop the distractions in and as the mind.
Back to daily living at the farm.
When we arrive there, we start participating in their daily life-routine. The routine I followed:
5.00 waking up; 5.30 kitchen-garden; 6.30 some house cleaning, coffee, (others go to the horses); 8.00 garden-work; 10.30 breakfast; 11.30 interviews; 13.30 lunch; free-time/computer-time; 15.40 horses; 16.30 free-time/computer-time/cookingtime; 20.00 chat; 21.00 computer-time, 23.00 bed-time. Weekends are free from gardenwork.
The first week in South-Africa I was exhausted from the agitated year in The Netherlands before. I was feeling overwhelmed because of all the emotions I had build up during life, and not being able to relax within this anymore. My physical body was restrained. I understood the information that is presented by Desteni, but I did not see how to practically live this, how to be comfortable in this, how to be comfortable in my own body in general.
The land, the plants, the animals, the sounds, the life inside, is giving support to slowly relax the body, to come down to earth. The people are giving space to just walk through this stress, to settle down in the new environment. They share their process experiences, they explain how they work and what we have to do to work together in this new environment, how to take care of the animals, how to work in the garden, how they share the house, how they take care of the house and devide the tasks as cooking and cleaning. They give the possibility to participate in every practical job; we are supposed to join where ever we can within the space of a comfortable ritm, without force on the physical body.
I have had conversations about process, with the people we live with in the house, with Sunette for support, with Esteni for process-support related to DIP-pro, with Bernard Poolman for process-support in general. How did Bernard support me in my process?
From what I have seen, he speaks to each person in different voice-tonalities in which we are able to hear him. We have all a different programming, related to the genetics and environment that we grew up in. In this we are sensitive to different voice-tonalities, meaning, if some one for example, speaks in a very load voice to us, which scares us very much because it triggers a memory in relation to a load voice and fear, we are not able to hear the words that one speak and we only ‘hear’ the tonality and our own reaction to this. So the voice-tonality plays an important role in the fact if we hear what is being said, as long as we are moved by this pre-programminging and reactions related to memories.
To me, he spoke in an easy, gentle way, as in this I can listen to the words without going into judgements towards myself. I have heard him speaking to another destonian in a more ‘discussion-tonation’, and she was responding to this equally, in which I saw this as a way of speaking that she is comfortable in, and so able to hear the words that he is speaking.
Within this, in general, he showed me the points that are hidden in me, to face myself who I am, to support in general to become a trust-worthy being who is able to stand on his own two feet, which starts with self-trust. This will make me able to access situations with common sense, able to investigate myself and the world where we live in. This self-trust I was really missing (and still working on) and so I doubted everything inside myself, even though I knew it is real what I see. Most points were points that I already had seen, that I already know, but I did not yet changed it, and so I am not standing in my upmost potential. Some point that he brought up was really hidden, as I would say unconscious. I knew there was something not in place with it, but I was not really aware of it, although I noticed that it influenced me. So the moment he brought it up, I recognized it and was touched by it, and it needs investigation inside myself.
Did I have stand up in self-trust and become trust-worthy in a month? No! It is a process for years, a Journey to Life. But one month at the farm has given me a platform to walk this process, to push myself through the difficult points, to stand up if I fall. It confirmed me in what I had seen inside myself as being real, but where I could not stand in, as nobody around me could stand with me in this in common sense, in absolute certainty. It is this absolute certainty that Bernard stand in that really supported me. Have you ever been considered by a human being who is standing in and as the principle of what is best for all, meaning, who is confronting you with the points inside yourself that needs to be changed, that are not best for all, and at the same time giving you the most gentle and respectfull support that is possible, that is giving you the missing links through which you were not able to stand up? Just by giving you some words, or by sitting with you for a while, showing/teaching some small, simple, physical changes? In which you notice, with this, I can move on, I have missed this my whole life, I have missed my whole life a living example, just one, and one time given this support is enough to move on with, to stand up in, to walk process on. With this, I am able to walk on. This is what Bernard gave to me. For the rest, it is up to me, to my own decisions, to my own integrity, to my own ability to push, to forgive and to correct myself and bring it in reality; with the support of the group, the dip-course and the information and instructions available on internet.
I would like to give another example of how the dogs supported me.
I am not grown up with dogs, and not used to their behaviour, so it often experienced some anxiety around them because I didnot know how to behave myself, how they would respond, and they have pretty sharp tees and can be pretty big, so I was not sure how to approach dogs.
At the farm, there are Many dogs! In the house I stayed, there were living 5 dogs, from which 3 large ones. I liked them immediately, and after a week I became more comfortable with them. It are the dogs that I ‘missed’ most after leaving the farm, as they are very supportive to just be here, standing with two feet on the earth, enjoying their bodies and touching them, enjoying playing with them. One particulair moment of support was when I was in another house than I lived in, sharing some grieve I was not clear on with Esteni and experiencing sadness in this. One big dog was really pushing his body towards me until he was sitting in front of me, and offered his body to pull my arms around, to hold him tightly and cry, which gave really stability and support within this experience of sadness, to let out the tears. Just to be with him and hold him for a while without needing to explain what is going on and holding his body as a stability point.
Back in The Netherlands; does this mean my process is easy now? Again, No. After going to the farm, it is for sure easier than the year before. I am more stable, less emotional, and not feeling ‘lost’ anymore, which means I am able to support myself. I have seen all these living examples, I have lived with them and spoken to them, which makes walking process tangible for me.
I still experience difficulties almost every day as I have been programmed for 39 years before I started this process as deprogramming myself from all these structures, and this ‘heavy experience or difficulties’ is part of my programming, it is the structure of my mind – I have never jumped lightly through life. Resistance is a daily experience. Which means, I am pushing on the right buttons, the points that need self-investigation.
Does this mean that walking process is only possible after going to the farm? Also, No. I would have walked on anyway, also if I was not able to visit the people in South-Africa. The support that is available is becoming more effective, as for example the Dip-Lite course, and other participants are becoming more effective; the amount of information available is growing, and within this there is a lot of support available on the internet. In the end, it is about priciples and instructions that are implying what is best for all, that we have to use as a starting-point and thet we have to integrate in and as the physical by ourselves.
It is about becoming our own point of support, working together in a group of people who live in and as the same principles as what is best for all, supporting each other where and when necessary.
So, is it possible for everyone to enter the farm for a visit in any moment?
No. This is simply and practically not possible and there is also a dedication asked for at least 1 year walking the Dip-pro course and writing a journey to life blog. All the information is available on the internet. You have all access, and it is up to each one self, to investigate the principles that are presented, to test them for self, in self, by applying in your own life, and to prove to yourself what is real and what is not. In several countries there are people who are walking this proces for quite some time, and they are available on the internet, via blogs, via the forum, via a free course with a personal buddy, and maybe even in your physical environment. And everyone can step in, just as I and others did; everyone who is really interested in self-investigation in self-honesty and willing to follow priciples and instructions to support yourself, while working together in a group in finding solutions for worldchange, to make the world a place where all living beings have a dignified life. Which is a long way to go.